Late
by cinbru
Summary: Stephanie finally comes to terms with her relationship with Joe, but is her future still hers to control?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Janet owns everything.

**Late**

I was late.

I sat on my bed and looked out my window over the rooftops across the parking lot. I had been in this position for the last 30 minutes. No other word in the female language strikes fear like _late_. Not even _fat_.

I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them, resting my head on my knees. It was early evening and the slowly approaching darkness seemed like a heavy omen. I mentally counted the days again, but there was no getting around it. I was two days late.

"Please," I whispered to my bedroom. My heart beat faster as I realized I didn't know what I was saying 'please' for exactly. I loved Joe, he loved me. We had been talking about marriage lately and I had even been considering it. Once or twice I had seen a baby in the mall and hadn't felt like running away.

But in my darkening bedroom with my calendar and birth control pack spread out before me, the realization hit me in full force. 'Please' was a scared and desperate word. It was the same 'please' that countless others had whispered over the years when they realized that their lives were teetering on the brink and that, perhaps, someone would hear their plea and somehow grant them a second chance.

A second chance to change things.

It was crushing, this realization. After three years, or perhaps 27 if we started from the beginning, of dancing around Joe, our relationship had come to a frantic halt in my darkening bedroom with the awareness of one thing. I was late.

I felt sick to my stomach. I needed to call Joe but I knew what the outcome of that call would be and I was too chicken to face it. He would want to marry me. He would be scared and flustered but when I took the test he would hold my hand and smile at me and I would see the glint of light in his eyes.

And I knew, beyond a doubt that I didn't deserve to stand there beside that light while I prayed silently for there to only be one line and not two. I couldn't do this next to him. It would be the ultimate betrayal. So I would wait until I knew for sure. And if it was positive then I would cry and grieve and then force myself to find the happy. I could do that for Joe.

And he wouldn't ever need to know that I had whispered _please_ to God in my bedroom on a Tuesday evening by myself.

I slid my legs down and over the side of the bed, picking up the pregnancy test and the egg timer as I rose. It was now or never, I realized. I glanced over the box and saw that the results would be ready in three minutes. _Three minutes_. My stomach gave a sickening lurch and I had to put my hand against the headboard for a moment. McDonald's, donuts and a Snickers bar had seemed like a good idea earlier this afternoon when I was still desperately in my denial phase.

When I was sure my stomach was under control I walked into the bathroom and opened the box. After reading the directions again, I managed to hold the stick for the required 'exactly 5 seconds' without peeing on my fingers. I put the cap back on the test and set it level on my counter.

I finished up with the toilet and set the egg timer for three minutes, and picked up the discarded box. I looked down at the test and my stomach rolled again. Before I could stop myself I fled from the bathroom, unable to be in the same room with the realization that my whole future had been reduced to a slowly spreading stain on a small piece of cheap, white plastic.

I came to a stop in my bedroom again, clutching the crushed box to my chest and trying to get my breathing under control. I almost missed the sound of my locks tumbling open. I sat on my bed and closed my eyes. This was a complication I did not need at the current moment.

I felt him before I saw him. His quiet "Babe" however, had me opening my eyes to him. I saw him take in my face and he walked over to me, gently extracting the crumpled box from my hands as he sat next to me. He looked at it for a moment and when he raised his eyes back to mine his blank face was firmly in place.

"Do I need to offer you congratulations?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know yet," I whispered and despite my best efforts, my voice cracked slightly on the word 'yet'.

Ranger's eyes softened faintly and I saw just the barest hint of something I had never seen there before. Regret. It was the final straw and tears pooled in my eyes. I tried to fight them but it was no use, and when Ranger pulled me to him and pressed his face in my hair, it was all I could do to keep the crying quiet.

He pulled back after a minute and brushed the tears off my cheeks with his thumbs.

"You need to call him, Babe. He should be here with you."

I shook my head, staring and my hands on his chest. "I can't. He'll want to marry me and…I'm so confused."

"Do you want to marry him?"

I squeezed my eyes tighter for a moment, trying to make sense of what my answer was to his question. For there it was, laid bare before us…all of my emotional baggage condensed into a six word sentence. I looked up to him to tell him that I wasn't sure but I found myself frozen in place, my eyes looking into his. Gone was his mask, his wall… and in its place was emotion that I had never seen, not even on the night he had walked into this apartment ready to die for his daughter and me. He looked vulnerable and as confused as I was as he held my face in his hands. There was nothing around me but Ranger and without thinking, the answer found itself.

"No," I whispered in the silence. "I don't want to marry him."

The sudden relief and awareness was in stark contrast to the desperation I had felt just a few minutes ago before I looked into the eyes of the man before me. I watched as emotions ran over his face, though neither one of us moved or breathed.

"Babe…I-" His sentence was cut off by the sudden beeping from the bathroom that ended the moment with perverse finality.

We both took a breath as we remembered what that beeping meant, the test forgotten. Ranger closed his eyes and lowered his head for a brief second before releasing my face and standing up, once again in control of his emotions.

I reached for his hand. "I don't think I can do this alone. Will you look with me?"

Ranger stood for a moment looking at our joined hands before he dropped it and stepped back.

"Babe, there are very few things in this world that I wouldn't do for you, but this isn't my place or my business. You need to call Morelli. He should be here with you. Not me."

Ranger turned around and walked to my door. He paused when he reached it, placing one hand on my doorframe, looking down at the floor. For a few heartbeats he stood there with his back to me before he opened the door without looking back, and left me alone in my dark bedroom with a beeping egg timer and the sickening reality that he was absolutely right.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Janet owns everything.**

"_Babe, there are very few things in this world that I wouldn't do for you, but this isn't my place or my business. You need to call Morelli. He should be here with you. Not me."_

_Ranger turned around and walked to my door. He paused when he reached it, placing one hand on my doorframe, looking down at the floor. For a few heartbeats he stood there with his back to me before he opened the door without looking back, and left me alone in my dark bedroom with a beeping egg timer and the sickening reality that he was absolutely right._

**Late**

**Chapter 2**

I don't think I was able to hear the soft click of the door over the egg time but rather I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I watched Ranger leave and realized that everything I ever wanted had just been reduced to "could have been". It took a few minutes for the panic to recede and the awareness to settle in that there was nothing left to say or do but walk in the bathroom.

I paused in the doorway, the test awfully white against my countertops. I reached over and switched off the egg timer and walked toward the test. I made it two steps before I bolted for the toilet, finally losing my comfort food in appropriate insult. I rested my head on the rim and dried my eyes with toilet paper before flushing it away. There on the floor, hunched before the toilet, I reached up and my hand found the test. I brought it before me and stared at it for what felt like an eternity.

And I cried.

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Joe found me an hour later, still on the floor. I heard his key in the lock and his footsteps walk in the bedroom, calling my name. They paused long enough that I knew he had found the discarded box where I had left it on the bed. New tears trickled down my cheeks.

He appeared in the doorway and his face held no anger or accusation. He sat Indian style in front of me and gently extracted the test from my hands. He looked at it for as long as I had before meeting my eyes.

"So you aren't pregnant."

I shook my head and broke his gaze.

He took my hand and wiped away my tears with the other. "I'm sorry, honey."

My eyes snapped open to his. Joe reached out and with the simplest of moves, dropped my whole world in the trash.

He kissed the fingers on my hand. "This doesn't have to be the end. We can start trying whenever you want. I had no idea you felt this way."

This brought my eyes away from the test in the trash. The surprise must have shown on my face because he smiled at me. "Surely you knew I wanted this, Cupcake. I just had no idea you did, too."

Guilt washed over me at his words and I covered my face with my hands. I would hurt him more because I was too weak to be stronger.

My actions were met with silence before Joe removed my hands from my face and looked in my eyes.

"You aren't crying because it's negative, are you?" His eyes had dulled with understanding, the smile gone.

"Joe..I'm so sorry."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I…" I faltered. "I.."

Joe's mouth was tight and he nodded once. "Because when you thought you were pregnant you were given everything you didn't really want. And you were trapped in it."

The reality and truth of his words magnified the guilt until I could hardly breathe for the shame of it. "Oh God, Joe. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this. I didn't know I felt-"

He sat back, away from me. "Just tell me one thing. Is it the baby you don't want, or is it _my_ baby?"

Color rose in my face as I flushed with not wanting to answer. But I knew it would be kinder in the end to be honest.

"I love you, Joe. But I think I needed the issue to be forced to figure a few things out. You've been everything to me…but I can't do this for you. The baby..the housewife. I'm sorry."

Joe stood up and I rose with him as he turned his back and strode out of the bathroom, through my bedroom, to the front door. But unlike the first man tonight, he paused and turned to face me.

Surprisingly his eyes softened for a moment before he shook his head slightly and looked down.

"I hope he makes you happy, Stephanie. For your sake. Because it sure as Hell isn't for mine." He turned and walked through the door.

I didn't even notice the click as it shut.

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My period started the next morning, because nothing brings on menstruation like the relief of a negative pregnancy test.

Looking back on that night made me realize it was a blessing in disguise, although it took several days to feel that way about it. After Joe left I picked up as much ice cream and beer I could carry and spent the next three hours at Mary Lou's house.

I called Ranger the next day, only to have it go straight to voicemail. When I saw Tank that afternoon he had informed me that Ranger came back the night before looking like shit, packed a bag and took off to audit Rangeman Miami. That was two weeks ago. I missed him. Tank didn't know when exactly he was coming back, but thought it might be soon.

Currently I was picking up a receipt at the Bonds office. I had passed my time over the last few weeks working as hard as I could to try to forget the way two sets of eyes had looked on the only men I had ever loved as they walked out my door within an hour of each other. There was only one pair of sweet eyes I wanted to see now, but he was in the wind.

I talked with Lula and Connie a bit before making my escape. The street had been crowded today, so I had parked around back. I pushed the back door open, looking through my latest files.

Like always, I felt him before I saw him. I had missed him for two weeks and, just like that, he was leaning against my car, his lips tipping up at my expression.

I walked towards him on autopilot, studying his face for any sign of what he was thinking. He reached out and grabbed my files when I reached him, tossing them through my open window.

"Hi," I said softly. I barely heard him say 'Babe'. All I could do was smile at him and stare at his face. He met my gaze with the same smile and it was all I could see. He was the only thing that mattered.

Without another word he cupped my face with both hands and I melted into him. I gripped his waist tightly and I felt him kiss my forehead before his hands slid into my hair behind my head, pulling me close. I don't know how long we held each other in that dirty old parking lot behind the bail bonds office.

When he finally pulled back, his expression was somber but his eyes were soft and happy. He stepped back from me, but kept my hand in his.

"Babe, I was wondering, if you're free, would you like to go get a cup of coffee with me?"

I closed my eyes for a split second before opening them to meet his.

"I'd love to."

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**One year later…**

I was late.

I sat on my bed and stared out my window, wondering how in the world I was here again. My pill pack and calendar were spread out before me and I had counted the days to be sure. Four times actually.

I was three days late this time. I tried not to get too upset, after what happened last time but it was no use. I rested my head on my knees and thought about the possible child growing inside me.

"Please," I whispered to my bedroom and before I could stop it, a tiny smile appeared on my face.

_What if it's a boy?_

Tears pricked my eyes and it took a minute to realize I was picturing a beautiful little boy with Ranger's coloring and my eyes.

I pushed away the thought, slid off the bed and walked into the bathroom. My hand shook as I took the test. Could it only have been a year ago? I recapped it, set the egg timer and, once again, fled from the bathroom clutching my crumpled box.

I came to a halt in the bedroom as I heard my door swing open and everything I ever wanted walked in the door.

"Babe," he called.

"In here."

"Blockbuster said that there was a recall on Sense and Sensibility and that no store anywhere would carry it ever again. I was forced to get Terminator Salvation…" He trailed off when he saw the box in my hand.

In one move he tossed the movies on the bed and pulled me to him, holding me. I clung to him, and like always his calm washed over me. He stroked my hair and pulled back slightly.

"You will never be trapped, Babe. I'll love you no matter what we decide. You hear me?"

I nodded and the tears spilled over. "I'll always take care of you, and if it's positive and what you want, our family," he whispered.

I smiled at him. "With you it would be a family." He hugged me again and the egg timer went off. He pulled back, pausing a moment to stare at our joined hands before we walked into the bathroom to look at our whole world sitting on the counter.

And the three of them lived happily ever after.


End file.
